At this moment in time, to say that I'm a horrible person would be an understatement..
Ugh..
God bless.
8.6.11
23.5.11
Bachelor 2 the Rapture..
Well this is it. I'm done. I'm done with relationships, I'm done with hoping it would happen, I'm just done. Bachelor 2 the Rapture!
Sorry.. Let me explain. You know the girl I talked about a few posts back.. Well guess what!? She has a boyfriend now. Yeah, wunderful! Ugh.. I'm so through with this crap right now. From now on it's me and Jesus, that's it, that's all, PERIOD! End of story. Ugh.. Night. Thanks for listening.
God bless.
Sorry.. Let me explain. You know the girl I talked about a few posts back.. Well guess what!? She has a boyfriend now. Yeah, wunderful! Ugh.. I'm so through with this crap right now. From now on it's me and Jesus, that's it, that's all, PERIOD! End of story. Ugh.. Night. Thanks for listening.
God bless.
22.5.11
Striving..
Hello there. At the moment I am driving back from a youth retreat called Strive. Now coming into the weekend a had some things standing in-between me a God and as a result our relationship was suffering. Anyways.. Yesterday during a morning worship session I was felling completely isolated from Him and it was horrible. Truthfully it was a feeling I wouldn't wish upon anybody! So in them midst of this I prayed, "Jesus, God, I want to feel you now.. Please. I love you" and as I finished this simple plea a new song started and almost instantly a chill came over me. My body was covered in goosebumps and I knew He was with me. The feeling was indescribable and lets just say the rest of the worship was awhsum! Although at the end of the service I could feel him leave me again reminding me I needed to fix what was standing between us. After this experience I took alot of time alone and I am happy to say that the wall standing between me and God has come down. It feels amazing. Anyways gotta run.
God bless.
God bless.
20.5.11
Relationships..
Hello all my followers (sarcasm) it's been a while since I last posted something and that's only because there has been alot of crap going on with me..
So lately I've been thinking about relationships quite a bit. I recently developped something I like to call a "school yard crush". Basically it's one of those crushes where I don't even know her, I met her once. Yeah, it's pretty ridiculous. The worst part is a can't get her out of my mind! It's quite annoying and it's really been bothering me. I want to talk to her so badly but I'm scared. She is so perfect.. She isn't like the girls of my past.. She is a solid Christian and that's something new to me.. I've never liked a Christian girl before. And even if it went somewhere I would have no clue how to take it slow. Ugh this is all just so new to me and I'm afraid. I want to tell someone so they can help but I don't think I can trust anyone enough. Anyways.. I got to go. Thanks for listening.
God bless.
So lately I've been thinking about relationships quite a bit. I recently developped something I like to call a "school yard crush". Basically it's one of those crushes where I don't even know her, I met her once. Yeah, it's pretty ridiculous. The worst part is a can't get her out of my mind! It's quite annoying and it's really been bothering me. I want to talk to her so badly but I'm scared. She is so perfect.. She isn't like the girls of my past.. She is a solid Christian and that's something new to me.. I've never liked a Christian girl before. And even if it went somewhere I would have no clue how to take it slow. Ugh this is all just so new to me and I'm afraid. I want to tell someone so they can help but I don't think I can trust anyone enough. Anyways.. I got to go. Thanks for listening.
God bless.
10.5.11
Mothers' Day
On Mothers' Day this year I was asked to tell my church family what my mom means to me. This was something that I had never really thought of before I was asked to. And as I prepared a speech full of humor for this occasion I still, subcontiously, refused to think of what my mom really meant to me. It was not until the moment, when I was standing in front of my church family, that I truly thought of what she means to me and seeing as I had lost my previously prepared speech I began to simple say exactly what I was feeling at that moment. At a point, I choked up and had to pause for a moment. And through out my whole talk I stared directly into my moms eyes. Her beautiful loving eyes and that moment made me thankful to God for her. I love my mom with all my heart.. She is something that drives me to be better eveyday. Thank you Jesus for her.
God bless.
God bless.
The Past..
The past has not exactly been the prettiest. And although it hurts to talk of it, everything in me wants someone to know the full story. So, because I don't know you, if there even is a you, I'm going to tell you the story because I know you will not think any less of me.
I was born into a Christian home, a loving mother and father where the first sight my eyes took in, and as a child I was happy. But at age five my father had an affair on my mother. Looking back at the woman my father was sneaking around with I'm not exactly sure why he chose her. She was by no means attractive and her personality was almost non-existant.. Anyways, after my father announced to my mother he wanted a divorce my mother, younger brother and I moved to my current home. Through my post-divorce childhood I was full of rage, I knew I was different but didn't know how to cope with this fact. It was a rough time but things soon got better. My mother continued to raise my brother and I in a loving, Christian home and eventually met Pirate, my current step-father.
I was now in junior high and life was great, or so i thought. I was still a "Christian" but i sure didn't live it. I walked through the motions, doing the church thing and being the good guy when i had too, but as soon as i walked out of the glass doors of my church i was a completely different person. I was a player, using woman when ever it suited me and discarding them like used tissue. I am glad to say I am still a virgin but only because the one chance I had to change that status was at a moment when a condom could not be found. At the time it was disappointing but looking back I thank God for intervening. I continued on this disgusting path for a number of years and at some point began to party and drink... My life was dark and a relationship with my Lord was nearly non-existent.
On January 16 2010 my Youth Pastor asked me to go for lunch. Though hesitant I agreed and I am thankful I did. It was at that point, during that lunch, that I realized someone cared. Greg really cared about me and my relationship with God. Almost immediately I changed my life around and started to develop a personal relationship with Jesus. Life had turned around and all was great. On January 16 2011 I got baptized in the name of my Father, my Son, and my Holy Spirit. It was the happiest day of my life, and I had finally publicly declared my love for Jesus! After that day I grew even closer to Jesus and at the same time more struggles appeared in my life. These struggles were frequent but easily solved through trust in God.
Now at this moment you are probably thinking, wow, this kid has got it good. But that's where you are wrong. I still struggle, I struggle with my old ways, I still watch pornography, and I still use women, I still drink, and I still use drugs. The only difference is that it is all in secret now. Or it was... this is me declaring it all to the world. The date of my first post marks the date of my official end to my old ways. From now on when urges come I will pray to the Lord and I will blog about my struggle. Through Jesus Christ I will beat this thing!
Thank you. Thank you to all who will read this in the future, thank you for helping me.
God Bless
I was born into a Christian home, a loving mother and father where the first sight my eyes took in, and as a child I was happy. But at age five my father had an affair on my mother. Looking back at the woman my father was sneaking around with I'm not exactly sure why he chose her. She was by no means attractive and her personality was almost non-existant.. Anyways, after my father announced to my mother he wanted a divorce my mother, younger brother and I moved to my current home. Through my post-divorce childhood I was full of rage, I knew I was different but didn't know how to cope with this fact. It was a rough time but things soon got better. My mother continued to raise my brother and I in a loving, Christian home and eventually met Pirate, my current step-father.
I was now in junior high and life was great, or so i thought. I was still a "Christian" but i sure didn't live it. I walked through the motions, doing the church thing and being the good guy when i had too, but as soon as i walked out of the glass doors of my church i was a completely different person. I was a player, using woman when ever it suited me and discarding them like used tissue. I am glad to say I am still a virgin but only because the one chance I had to change that status was at a moment when a condom could not be found. At the time it was disappointing but looking back I thank God for intervening. I continued on this disgusting path for a number of years and at some point began to party and drink... My life was dark and a relationship with my Lord was nearly non-existent.
On January 16 2010 my Youth Pastor asked me to go for lunch. Though hesitant I agreed and I am thankful I did. It was at that point, during that lunch, that I realized someone cared. Greg really cared about me and my relationship with God. Almost immediately I changed my life around and started to develop a personal relationship with Jesus. Life had turned around and all was great. On January 16 2011 I got baptized in the name of my Father, my Son, and my Holy Spirit. It was the happiest day of my life, and I had finally publicly declared my love for Jesus! After that day I grew even closer to Jesus and at the same time more struggles appeared in my life. These struggles were frequent but easily solved through trust in God.
Now at this moment you are probably thinking, wow, this kid has got it good. But that's where you are wrong. I still struggle, I struggle with my old ways, I still watch pornography, and I still use women, I still drink, and I still use drugs. The only difference is that it is all in secret now. Or it was... this is me declaring it all to the world. The date of my first post marks the date of my official end to my old ways. From now on when urges come I will pray to the Lord and I will blog about my struggle. Through Jesus Christ I will beat this thing!
Thank you. Thank you to all who will read this in the future, thank you for helping me.
God Bless
9.5.11
A first post..
Hello,
Although none of you are currently following this I am going to give some background on myself and on what this blog is going to be about. I am still but I child in the play of life, stuck in the early acts but I long for scene five. I am not pleased with highschool and the only thing that gets me through every day is my Lord, my Savior Jesus Christ. I recently recommitted my life to Christ and this blog will be a story of sorts. It will follow my struggle in everyday life and the journey I take trusting God. I cannot live this life on my own and through Christ, who I lean on for my strength, I will learn to stand. Hence the name of my blog. It is my hope that through this blog I may change one persons life. Jesus loves us all and I pray you find the same joy that I have through a personal relationship with Him. Thank you to all in the coming days and months who will read this and now I bid you a short farewell.
God bless.
Although none of you are currently following this I am going to give some background on myself and on what this blog is going to be about. I am still but I child in the play of life, stuck in the early acts but I long for scene five. I am not pleased with highschool and the only thing that gets me through every day is my Lord, my Savior Jesus Christ. I recently recommitted my life to Christ and this blog will be a story of sorts. It will follow my struggle in everyday life and the journey I take trusting God. I cannot live this life on my own and through Christ, who I lean on for my strength, I will learn to stand. Hence the name of my blog. It is my hope that through this blog I may change one persons life. Jesus loves us all and I pray you find the same joy that I have through a personal relationship with Him. Thank you to all in the coming days and months who will read this and now I bid you a short farewell.
God bless.
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