The Past..

The past has not exactly been the prettiest. And although it hurts to talk of it, everything in me wants someone to know the full story. So, because I don't know you, if there even is a you, I'm going to tell you the story because I know you will not think any less of me.

I was born into a Christian home, a loving mother and father where the first sight my eyes took in, and as a child I was happy. But at age five my father had an affair on my mother. Looking back at the woman my father was sneaking around with I'm not exactly sure why he chose her. She was by no means attractive and her personality was almost non-existant.. Anyways, after my father announced to my mother he wanted a divorce my mother, younger brother and I moved to my current home. Through my post-divorce childhood I was full of rage, I knew I was different but didn't know how to cope with this fact. It was a rough time but things soon got better. My mother continued to raise my brother and I in a loving, Christian home and eventually met Pirate, my current step-father.

I was now in junior high and life was great, or so i thought. I was still a "Christian" but i sure didn't live it. I walked through the motions, doing the church thing and being the good guy when i had too, but as soon as i walked out of the glass doors of my church i was a completely different person. I was a player, using woman when ever it suited me and discarding them like used tissue. I am glad to say I am still a virgin but only because the one chance I had to change that status was at a moment when a condom could not be found. At the time it was disappointing but looking back I thank God for intervening. I continued on this disgusting path for a number of years and at some point began to party and drink... My life was dark and a relationship with my Lord was nearly non-existent.

On January 16 2010 my Youth Pastor asked me to go for lunch. Though hesitant I agreed and I am thankful I did. It was at that point, during that lunch, that I realized someone cared. Greg really cared about me and my relationship with God. Almost immediately I changed my life around and started to develop a personal relationship with Jesus. Life had turned around and all was great. On January 16 2011 I got baptized in the name of my Father, my Son, and my Holy Spirit. It was the happiest day of my life, and I had finally publicly declared my love for Jesus! After that day I grew even closer to Jesus and at the same time more struggles appeared in my life. These struggles were frequent but easily solved through trust in God.

Now at this moment you are probably thinking, wow, this kid has got it good. But that's where you are wrong. I still struggle, I struggle with my old ways, I still watch pornography, and I still use women, I still drink, and I still use drugs. The only difference is that it is all in secret now. Or it was... this is me declaring it all to the world. The date of my first post marks the date of my official end to my old ways. From now on when urges come I will pray to the Lord and I will blog about my struggle. Through Jesus Christ I will beat this thing!

Thank you. Thank you to all who will read this in the future, thank you for helping me.

God Bless